Personally Purposeful

I was lying on the floor with Jersey last night.  She was sleeping comfortably, hopefully dreaming dreams. She was gently breathing which is totally different from when she snores.  Sometimes they can be heard throughout the house.  At others, it's more akin to the sound when someone blows out the candles on their birthday cake. Either way, it's a snore.

As I listened to her breath in and out, I was struck by an overwhelming sense of how much I will miss her when the ends comes.  I don't know how much longer she'll be with us though I'm hopeful it will be a while.  I'm thankful however. I know she's living under a death sentence; I know the cancer will eventually rear its ugly head with a vengance but I remain thankful.  Thankful that I have the time to prepare myself for when it comes.  I realize it will still be heartbreaking when the end comes but there is a sense of comfort which comes from knowing I can help her truly live the life of a dog: loving, loyal, present, boundless and beautiful.

All this led me to the understanding that this blog is also about me and the journey I am taking with her.  It's called "Jersey's Place" but it's also my story.  It's the story of my joy at her successes; it's the story of my watching her struggle to get up, it's the story of the wonder I experience as I watch her lying on the grass in the backyard in the sun, surveying her world.  Its the story of heartbreak as her pleading eyes implore me to rescue her as she experiences yet another needle prick at the vet.

I began this venture with no sense of what I would experience.  I wish I had someone show me how to navigate these uncharted waters.  So I figure if it's something I needed and continue to need other folks in similar situations will as well.  If I can make Jersey's and my story available, it could point the way for someone else faced with a similar unwanted, unfathomable journey.

It's for Jersey; it's for me; it's for you