Thursday, October 10, 2013

We've arrived at the end


I started this blog last February when we first found out Jersey was sick.  At the time I thought I would share my experiences so that others suffering what I was going through could have a roadmap to navigate the accompanying range of emotions and have some idea of what to expect. Within a month though, my writing turned into an expression of the grief and despair, shock and heartbreak, confusion and loneliness and the anger I was overwhelmed with. I didn't realize at the time that it had also become a kind of theraputic outlet for me.

As a result I've come to see that this particular phase of the journey is complete.  I think I've accomplished what I originally set out to do. So now it's time to say goodbye.

Goodbye to the soul baring posts I made fairly regularly; goodbye to the sadness that engulfed my every waking moment; good bye to the awful hurt which burned painfully in my soul. Goodbye to the all encompassing thoughts which go with the horrible loss of a loved one.  It's time to let it go.

As I do, there remains a deep appreciation for the precious support I received from all of you.  Though I didn't see it at the time, you guided me. You graciously allowed me to share my deepest, innermost feelings and stumble through the ugly thoughts I had until I arrived at the place where they became acceptance of the past, growth toward the future and the wisdom acquired upon passing through the blinding "dark night of the soul." For this, I say thank you.

Thank you and goodbye.

I feel I'm leaving you with a sense of who Jersey was and why she was so important to me.  Maybe you came to love her, too.

I may post here now and again to tell what the future turns out to be.  I'm sure Skylar and Tellie will provide fodder for tales of the joy they bring to the life which lies ahead.

In the meantime, I cherish the time I had with her and will always carry her in my heart. I am eternally grateful that she changed my life forever.

I will always miss my Jersey.

The End.