Seeing the future

Two days ago I ran across a couple of pictures of Jersey.  The one was a picture I've posted in this blog before.  It's of Jersey and Tellie sitting on the top step of the deck, looking out.  I don't know what they were so intent on but whatever had captures their attention was off in the distance.  Maybe it was a rabbit, maybe they were looking into the future.  Jersey was very much alive and was in her prime.  She was clearly engaged, she was strong and she was healthy.

The other was the picture I use as a profile picture on Facebook.  It's my favorite because I feel it perfectly encapsulates the relationship I had with her and the bond between us.  It was taken during what turned out to be her last visit visit to the beach at Sandy Point State Park.  It was the place where she could run free, off leash and unfettered.  I didn't know at the time that we'd never go there again.  I didn't know it was the last time we would be at the place we visited so many times during the course of the last couple of years.  I didn't know it would be the last time we would sit in the sun on the sand looking out over the bay.  I'm so thankful we had that last time together.  It was a moment to cherish.  We were together and it didn't get any better than that.

I told Alexa I had seen these pictures and that it really made me miss her more than I already do.  She gave me a hug and asked me what I miss about Jersey.

I miss her eyes and the way they sparkled.  I miss the space between her ears where I could rest my outstretched fingers on top of her and not touch either of them.  I miss her up turned fluffy tail and the way it curved over her back.  I miss her crooked smile.  I miss her smell when I would bury my face in the think fur of her neck. I miss the way the two middle toes of both her front paws fit perfectly together.  I miss her black and pink tongue and the way it would flap out of her mouth when she ran.  I miss her snore.  I miss the sound of her eating.  I miss her bark.  I miss walking with her and exploring with her and experiencing life with her.  The list goes on.

I think of her everyday but manage to go about my business without a crushing sense of grief plaguing me anymore. However, there are still times when I get sad and miss her a lot.  Six months and six days later, I still find myself imagining her sitting on the top step of the deck as she looked out, gazing into the future.