Cleaning up

About two days after Jersey passed away, I asked Alexa to move the blankets and pillows we had put in the front room for Jersey to lay on so she could look out the windows left cracked open so she could smell all the smells on the breeze during her last days.  It was much too painful to walk past the living room and see the stuff piled up in the spot where she left us.

The blankets that had become soiled were thrown away; I think the pillows were put into a closet and the rug which had been on the floor in case she had to pee was rolled up and put into the basement. The room was empty, all traces of what had happened there were put away.  Of course there would always a heart skipping pang when I walk past the room but the reminders wouldn't be there.

We picked up her water and food bowls, put her collar and harness away and stored the various beds she would lie on in her favorite spots in the house. I gave away the long lead we used for her which kept her from leaping over the backyard fence so she wouldn't get loose and run away while she was chasing rabbits.

I didn't want to erase her from the house.  It was simply a matter of allowing us to resume life without daily, tangible reminders of the mighty space she occupied in my life.

This past weekend I took what was probably the final action in cleaning up.  I got my car washed and had the interior vacummed and polished.

Anyone who hauls a dog around knows what it is like to have fur balls the size of tumbleweeds blowing around the itnerior.  The dog owner can accept the dirt and sand and mud which builds up in the floor mats and carpets.  They get used to the smell of wet dogs.  The sounds of balls rolling around on the car floor become background noise.  They learn to live with nose prints, slobber and paw prints on the windows.  The dog smell permeates the interior and for me at least become a part of normal, everyday life.

The thing that caused me to consider getting the car cleaned up was Skylar having a pee accident on the blankets which I used to cover the back of the jeep.  We had taken a day trip to the ocean which is a couple of hours away from our house this past weekend.  Though I stopped during the drive so she and Tellie could have a bathroom break, Skylar waited until we were back in the car and continuing our drive before she considered emptying her blatter.  Puppy pee stinks and I had to take drastic action.  I decided to take my car to a full service car wash and detail place and have them try to de-dog the car's itnerior.

I mention all this because there were still vestiges of Jersey throught the car.  Sand from our trips to Sandy Point State Park was still on the back of the seats which I keep folded down to have more room for dogs to lie down;  a couple of sticks she had picked up were still under the seats, there were lots of stray hairs clinging to the fabric of the car ceiling and on the rugs.  They were all reminders of how much time we spent together driving to our next adventure; how she would be sprawled in the back, looking out the windows at the passing scenery trying to figure out where we might be going.

With each squirt of window cleaner, with each push of the vacuum hose, with each thing thrown into the garbage can, with each swirl of a wash rag her presence was wiped from the car.

The people who detailed the car did a great job.  It's now sparkly and shiny with a new car scent wafting through the interior.  Still, whenever I look in the rear view mirror to see how Tellie and Skylar are doing on one of our drives, I still see Jersey looking back at me asking "are we there yet?"

Though the car has been cleaned she's never really washed away.  She's in my heart and on my mind beyond the reach of cleaners and buckets of water.