There are some who say "Oh, it's only a dog." There are some who keep their dogs chained up outside for the majority of the day, no matter what the weather. There are some people who own a dog and don't have its welfare in mind. I make no apologies...Jersey is an integral part of my family. She's our protector, she's our companion, she's my best friend. Conversely, I protect her. I am her companion and I am her best friend. That's right, Jersey and I are are best friends.
I know full well that Jersey is a dog. She's all dog. She can be mischievious, she can be stubborn. She doesn't always obey and she can be very single minded. She can be muddy, she can be messy, she can be frustrating; that's the way dogs are. She is also an angel.
We are her guardians. And as such we have a huge responsibility to care for this fully alive, fully present, fully aware living being. I do have her best interests at heart. Anything less is an injustice and not honoring of her spirit. Though I am terribly sad and my heart aches at the way things turned out, I have always had this perspective.
Since the beginning when I first met her at the Santa Fe Animal Shelter, I thought these things. I made a commitment to always be there for her and to do all these things for her for the rest of her life. Now I truly have to honor my commitment. I am duty bound to respect her enough to let her go and help her make the transition.
The finality of death is a jarring concept. Though I know it is an inevitable part of life, I grapple with it just the same. In this case it seems inconceivable that Jersey won't be here to bark out the window as some salesman comes to the door; that she won't fall asleep on the couch anymore; that she won't be sitting on the top step surveying her world anymore; that I won't get schlurped in the face every morning to wake me up and begin the day.
There is no doubt our life will be empty and that we shall grieve. I will be sad. ouch
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