I feel Jersey moving further and further away from me. It's not necessarily a bad thing though, I don't think. It's just that through the passage of time, life seems to be moving on. I'm getting caught up in the mundane routines, details and activities associated with living day to day. It's not spectacular, there's nothing wonderful going on. It's just that bathrooms still need to be cleaned, dishes still need to be washed, food shopping still has to be done; worst of all, the lawn still has to be cut.
These are mundane tasks and require concentration to attend to them Yes, there are still things and thoughts I encounter on a daily basis which remind me of her and only magnify how much I miss her but there are other considerations, too. We've got a new puppy to care for; there are tasks at work which require attention; a lot of activities which call for being present in the here and now.
The body and mind have a tremendous capacity to heal them selves I believe grief is an automatic response to a loss. I also believe the healing of the wound is also automatic. Just as there is not really anything to be done to lessen the feelings of loss, there is nothing to be done to move into healing. It just natuarally happens.
I miss Jersey but ever advancing time is pushing me on, pushing me forward. I am being healed in spite of myself. I really don't like the sense of loss and feeling broken apart, it's very uncomfortable. With time though those feelings are dissapating and being replaced with the feeling that life is returning to normal. Granted it's a new normal. Life will never return to the way it used to be. How can it? Jersey is gone. However, a new normal is taking over and I'm beginning to fall into new patterns. routines and a new way of living life. Time is making it happen and it has nothing to do with me and it's beyond my control. Time really does heal all wounds.
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